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Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely serious)

Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 11:46 pm
by EvilGrins
When in doubt, shoot it.

Shoot everything that is not on your side.

Shoot things on your side when they annoy you.

You usually can't kill those that're on your side...but you can knock them off really high objects. This often kills them.

Being a teamkiller is wrong, bad, and unappreciated...but often personally satisfying.

Do not abuse the bots. UT has a very impressive AI and you may find that often those bots you abused will not have your back when you need them.

Do not use foul language ingame unless it is absolutely necessary.

Using foul language ingame is often necessary.

People that make naked female skins for UT are a whole new level of lowlife.

The Skaarj are your friends. Regrettably, the Skaarj method of friendship often invovles eating your face.

Just because someone playing against you kills you a lot doesn't mean they're a bad guy. They're only a bad guy if they track you down in real life and then they kill you a lot.

Shoot the NaliRabits. It serves no benefit to you but it can be fun. Same can be said for jumping on them.

If you choose to not use foul language ingame that is your choice. You're a good person. However, voicepacks being what they are, the bots will likely swear up a storm.

A disturbing amount of the time the person who wholesale slaughters you the most, who often kills you when you have no clue where they are, is somewhere between 5 to 10 years old. Little kids don't have jobs and can practice pretty much all day. If it makes you feel any better, you probably make more money than they do.

In CTF games remember the goal of the game is to get the enemy flag back to your base. It is not gibbing your enemies as much as possible, regardless how much fun that is.

Online games that constantly advertise, putting little notes onscreen while you play, that there are always administrators monitoring the game, are lying. More often than not they're at work or out having a life, leaving their game totally unattended.

Regarding previous rule, note the words "more often than not". That does allow for, on occasion, actual administrators monitoring the game so don't push your luck.

There is no cyberbullying in UT...technically. If everybody else playing the game all decide to join forces against you, it's not cyberbullying. You're just that good that this was the only way they could kill you.

If you play the game as a monster, especially in MonsterHunt, do not be surprised if you get shot a lot. This isn't teamkiller action so much as, again, you're playing as a monster.

Most team games online you can't kill members of your own team. However, the teamkiller rule still applies. Some people just get really annoyed when you shoot them even if you can't hurt them.

The birds you often see flying really high in the sky you are harmless and damned near impossible to shoot, which makes them great target practice. Still, don't get too focused on them because someone that actually can hurt you will gib your ass.

In LMS: monsters can't kill you. Which is to say, they can kill you but it won't take off any of your remaining lives. This often works out well in that if you let them kill you you respawn with full ammo and all your health back.

In LMS: monsters can't kill you...except the Skaarj military units. Which is to say, they not only CAN kill you but it WILL take off any of your remaining lives. They use the same weapons you do and...well, you get the idea.

When bored, shoot random things around you. Hey, sometimes you find cool stuff this way.

MonsterHunt maps played online with enhanced weapon mutators are much harder on your home system if you don't have those.

On many maps you will find Nali. They are no threat whatsoever and will beg you not to kill them. Do it anyway.

On many maps you will find Nali. If they're carrying weapons, don't shoot them...unless they're on another team.

People playing as warcows do not tend to appreciate hamburger jokes.

There is a kind of Titan on certain maps that can talk. It will insult you constantly, even in team games. Shooting it will make it insult you more.

Many people online often sit around in safe areas and just talk with each other. Trying to kill them is wrong because being a teamkiller is bad. Although, if you're on a map with monsters you could lead some over to where they're chatting and they can be eaten.

In MonsterHunt there's no need to rush to the end of the map, especially for folks that're still waiting for everything to load so they can get in. Take your time and kill everything...including those annoying birds in the sky.

Anything with a head can receive a headshot.

If it walks, it can be killed. If it can kill you, it can be killed. If it can't be killed, knock it into lava.

The Skaarj military units in ut99 cannot run out of ammo. Don't let them get their hands on weapons cuz their aim is goverened by AI too and they can make scary impossible shots.

Skaarj occasionally like to play dead, they fall down and when you look away they get up and attack you. If you shoot one down, blow it to bits just to be sure.

The mercenaries use a full body shield that makes them invulnerable. It will stay on for as long as you shoot at them. Give them a few seconds then kill them when it turns off.

Those hosting redeemer arenas on their servers will often have armor & shieldbets on their maps. These won't save you.

The instagib takes 1000 health off whatever gets hit. There's only one defense against it: asbestos armor. I don't know why it works but it does. Sadly, most maps don't have it on them.

Makes sure when you shoot a Krall you actually killed it. There's a reason there's a LeglessKrall class.

Most monsters can sense when you're about to shoot them with primary fire and dodge. However, they seem less able to sense alt·fire.

NEVER LET A MONSTER GRAB A FLAG IN CTF! Even if you kill the monster, that flag is gone for good.

Re: Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely seriou

Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 12:00 am
by Renegade
No one enjoys UT more than you, man.

Re: Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely seriou

Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 12:30 am
by EvilGrins
Renegade wrote:No one enjoys UT more than you, man.
:twisted: I'm all about the fun :mrgreen:

Re: Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely seriou

Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 6:37 am
by MrLoathsome
EvilGrins wrote:NEVER LET A MONSTER GRAB A FLAG IN CTF! Even if you kill the monster, that flag is gone for good.
Monsters spawned by my mutators, will NOT grab the flag.

Re: Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely seriou

Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 11:07 am
by iloveut99
Oh I've read them all. Awesome stuff. :D

Re: Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely seriou

Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 10:06 pm
by EvilGrins
MrLoathsome wrote:
EvilGrins wrote:NEVER LET A MONSTER GRAB A FLAG IN CTF! Even if you kill the monster, that flag is gone for good.
Monsters spawned by my mutators, will NOT grab the flag.
Yeah, I remember that chat · http://www.ut99.org/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=3550

Re: Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely seriou

Posted: Mon Jun 08, 2015 7:04 pm
by EvilGrins
When in doubt, always go with the opinion of the nearest Skaarj.

Was thinking on this today, remembering a line from a Star Trek movie, "You cannot appreciate Shakespeare until you've heard it in the original Klingon."

Much as in ut2004/UT3 there's, "The Skaarj created this game, we always win."

So, clearly where the Tournament is concerned the Skaarj are the ones who know what's what. Always fall back upon their wisdom... even that wisdom dictates it's okay for them to eat you.

Re: Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely seriou

Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2015 9:56 pm
by EvilGrins
In the event of a dispute between 2 different members of the UT community, a neutral server must be selected for them to goto and battle it out until both parties get the drama out of their system... or a large monster eats one of them.

Re: Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely seriou

Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 10:31 pm
by EvilGrins
Making bots with their skills reduced to absolute suckage, and naming them after spambots, is highly recommended... as therapy.

Re: Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely seriou

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 10:57 pm
by EvilGrins
If you're gonna host games, don't put naked skins on your bots. Think of the little kids... who don't pay attention to the naked statues or naked stained glass.

Re: Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely seriou

Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2016 4:43 pm
by Gustavo6046
Save the cows; don't gib them into unusable pieces, or else the butcher you will hire after the match won't make burgers for comemoration of your 667-frag victory! :ironic:

If you know modelling, try and make a monster that ACTUALLY eats (like, a mutator that replaces Slith by MouthLizard and Titan by qDemonDaddy etc.). This would be awesome!

Re: Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely seriou

Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 5:25 am
by EvilGrins
Shoot everything when you can't find something... especially the boxes.

Boxes are annoying.

Re: Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely seriou

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 6:56 pm
by EvilGrins
Those long stabby things on the front of a Skaarj-Queen are a subtle request for a hug.

Be sure to hug the Queen as often as possible!

Re: Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely seriou

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 2:21 pm
by heliumcat
Don't play on AS-HiSpeed. :|

Re: Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely seriou

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:01 pm
by EvilGrins
He left out sober...
heliumcat wrote:Don't play on AS-HiSpeed. :|
...don't play on AS-HiSpeed sober. Image