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Swan Song and the Final Compilation.

Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 11:04 pm
by Gustavo6046
Bla, bla bla bla, drama.
It was early December. I decided to give Unreal a last try, before advancing to high school (what we call here Ensino Médio). After many days of work, fixing the door, and detailing some parts, I could not get satisfied with the result: AS-Dust had a mover that was black, even with a correct raytrace key, until I set it to be dynamically lit. Mapping was difficult. I frowned, and did a lasting final glare at the UnrealEd icon, before deciding it was enough of my low-quality modifications, with my plain and boring maps, in a game I played for way too long already - since I was five!

Now, if someone asked me about GusPackII, I'd say "it's a long story, with a deservingly unfruitful ending". The only thing I did right was the idea to never reveal the ugly 'dragon' I had created for it. I only learned to do wings much later, with an ASCII art. What about my other Unreal projects? If you took 20 of them, 1 works. Maybe 2 if you are lucky or if you have lower standards than natural liking.

In the other hand, I had a slightly better chance of doing a good ZDoom project. It was easier to do something good, except for the fact that models weren't supported and model-based sprites wouldn't look good enough. The sight of ZScript gave a slight smirk in my face, but then the failures and crypticity of a programmer's life brought me back to the abyss of modding limbo.

BUT... if you ask me about ONE thing that makes me even slightly prouder than a lost wimp, it must be my passion with music. Unfortunately it's the one I've learnt (the hard way) nobody cares for... and nobody deliberately ears Techloride or ElectroFiber...

It is time to enter new territory, to solve new enigmas.. to fail somewhere else at being unique. This is my swan song, and this is how I leave...

Don't forge my path, for I have made others suffer with mediocrity, thus I deserve to suffer the arduous work; don't try these mods, for I did them with the least of care, and the most of useless effort; make me something unreal, unheard of, like I always were and should always have been.

I will not shut my mouth, but my beautiful flowers didn't bloom this spring, nor did quality even get squeezed out of dedication. I have failed, and it's my destiny my doom. At something I can help.

Aside is my note, of reviving the music that fully deserved to have stood the test of time; it does not matter anymore, for I'd make it into a far worse situation of unacknowledging than it is.

Have a merry Christmas; the gifts I got, were for being a good boy, not a good modder.

Re: Swan Song and the Final Compilation.

Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 11:21 pm
by makemeunreal
Wish I could leave Unreal once and for all to focus on real life.
With no friends in the community, just haters it would do good. As I've never been a part of any other game community my knowledge is little, but I'm sure Unreal's is one of the most toxic, unfriendly one, :agree1: no matter how tiny it is.
Let me quote someone. This comment can be found under a YouTube video about Unreal:
unreal tears people apart ,I dont know why. i gave up on forums for a while now, everybody thinks there better then everyone and has to smear it in there face, instead of just answering there questions they argue the whole way tho counter productively.
by the said it said and done they wish they hadnt bothered in the first place. .

Me and my group of unreal friends (6 of us of so) have pretty much moved underground. we share privately and collaborate etc. Thats the only way it works now for us,

Unreal is divided , To many people either hate each other and cant get along due to difference of opinions , or they just appear mentally retarted to others.
I've read through thousands of topics and did meet your fights. So I personally do get the cause of such a "last-letter".
Have fun there!

Re: Swan Song and the Final Compilation.

Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 11:23 pm
by Gustavo6046
makemeunreal wrote:I'm sure Unreal's is one of the most toxic, unfriendly one
That is not what I meant. This forum has lovely people. This is where I grew up, after being banned from the ZDoom forums (I returned recently). If what I did had quality, then my Swan Song would be of a happy death, not of a sad leaving.

Re: Swan Song and the Final Compilation.

Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 11:25 pm
by makemeunreal
I didn't mean this forum, but the community in general. It's a personal opinion too.

Re: Swan Song and the Final Compilation.

Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2017 7:18 pm
by Gustavo6046
I see.

Anyway, a late and final merry Xmas :P

Tomorrow, at 16:00 UTC I will leave the community, and very likely for real. I have stuff to do, and puzzles to solve with ζetaBot for ZDoom.