Rules for Playing Unreal Tournament (not entirely serious)

[Neon_Knight]

Rule number Tree House: There's no Redeemer in the official version of CTF-EternalCave.

[Gustavo6046]

Wait, even ammo is? What about WarLords? Or even the Nali Weapons modifiers, sure no one can eat those!

[ANUBITEK]

Always have a towel, a bucket, and a roll of toilet paper. For no particular reason.

If you eat a Hot Pocket, make sure to eat the cold side first. Getting fragged on a cooldown is never fun!

Open a window, the increased airflow will make you game faster, bonus if you hyper-ventilate.

Keep your finger on that lag switch, even if it doesn't work.

[EvilGrins]

Never play UT while sitting backwards, as it can lead to intense neck pain.

[EvilGrins]

ABSOLUTELY NEVER...
...enhance the A.I. of the bots!

Because it's only a matter of time before some bot you've killed a ridiculous number of times gets enhanced, jacks into your WiFi, and rams a self-driving-car through your house.

[Gustavo6046]

However, if you do, for whatever depraved reason, decide that bots are worthy of sentience, notify the UT99.org Bureau of Ethical Considerations immediately so that we may devise a Code of Ethics on Sentient A.I. in Unreal Tournament.

[EvilGrins]

All Unreal Tournament training manuals are written only in the original Skaarj dialect, and must never be read while playing.

Ever.

It would be bad.

[rjmno1]

ABSOLUTELY NEVER...
...enhance the A.I. of the bots!

Because it's only a matter of time before some bot you've killed a ridiculous number of times gets enhanced, jacks into your WiFi, and rams a self-driving-car through your house.

A elan musk car will do the trick enhanched by google maps.A tesla.
Just hack the car with the wifi and everything will be alright.
..''kitt come to base''...''Yes michael''...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_K ... ght_Rider)

[GEARvision]

In Monster Hunt, while in a warm up round if you stick an ASMD up a Skaarj's asshole you get a reward

depending of the monster you do it on you'll get a different reward, like a redeemer, all weapons, an Udamage, or infinite points!


This is only and exclusively available in the latest UTJMH version...

EDIT: someone asked how you stick a weapon on a monster
you do as usual, drop the weapon with Q whatever your hotkey is, then while it's dropping, tap any of the arrow keys and it will turn around 90 degrees like it's a tetris block, once it's aiming upwards you're done
wait until a monster runs past it and there you go, it's up its ass.

[EvilGrins]

The ONE RULE's slightly warped cousin: Never play UT while blindfolded!

[Diablo]

If someone is trying to stop all the fragging in a server to establish a virtual socialist republic, frag them anyways. There is no food in the unrealiverse to begin with.
Only nali fruit, but those are all mine!

Food Fight: hold my healthy gun.

[EvilGrins]

Never play UT while you have a plate of really hot food in front of you.

...because if it falls in your lap while you're playing...

[EvilGrins]

Drinking egg-nog while playing UT is ill-advised.

[papercoffee]

Drinking egg-nog while playing UT is ill-advised.

But... hm... ok.

[EvilGrins]

If you can't parallel park in XV then you are not allowed to use it.